Let's me introduce myself

Hi there!

I'm a 18 years old girl, I'm turning 19 on 22 days actually... 

I could probably give you a description of how I see myself and how others do, because for some reason our identity is based on others. But I will not do that, not because  I don't know who I am, believe it or not I do have an idea of who I am. 

Otherwise I can though talk to you about my current situation and why all of this started. 

One day I woke up and I told my parents 'I'll go into med school'. Since little, I never knew exactly what I liked, don't get me wrong, I dreamed about being a singer or actress but never saw it as a choice. 

When I turn 13, I became smart. it was like a switch turn on... I started geting A+ and just stand out from the rest, never asked for it. Just happened. I do believe I found comfort on studying, things are home were always a bit complicated but that something for another entrance. 

The thing is... I decided to apply for medical school, and when the results came out the first time I didn't get in so I took I gap year, prepared for the entrance exam again and here I am, one year later seven days from the results to come and say if I get in to not. 

I've been struggling with panic attacks for nine days since the results arrive and I applied, I've lost weight, I've been waking up with a stomachache for SIX DAYS straight. I'm scared, overwhelmed and anxious. 

Yeah, I know what you think, don't get it. take a year. figured things out. 

But the truth is... Uni was always the plan. Maybe not med school but uni was a hell yeah. 

So here's what I'll do. I will started uni (if I get in tho)  and just see if it's my thing.

I don't want to see everything black or white. That's why I'm exposing myself in here, to keep read myself and be sincere with others. 

Thanks for reading

Hann